T-shirtisms

I can proclaim upfront:
"I am not one for t-shirts with messages".

My t-shirt does not stand for me and I do not endorse greater ideals through my t-shirt. Mostly because I haven't yet come across a t-shirt message that quite says it right.

Although, I do own and frequently don a bright pink t-shirt that says "take it easy". It'll take a lot of monetary incentive to have my t-shirt say 'naughty girl' or 'love machine' or some such. Yes, I am a prude. A convenient one. The 'take it easy' is ignored only because it wins the world's-most-comfortable-t-shirt-in-a-nice-colour award.

Here are a few t-shirtisms that I wouldn't mind changing my ideals for, in order of importance:

1. "I only eat idlis"
Because currently it stands 'largely true'. Plus idli is an important food group for any self-respecting South-Indian.

2. "If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song" –- Jack Handey
Because it's a wonderfully articulated thought which I'll never be able to memorise, making the t-shirt a good point of reference.

3. "The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax" --Albert Einstein
Because it has very genuine emotions and projects that my views are similar to that of Einstein.

4. "If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?"
Because it's so goddamn irritating that anyone would think this way.

5."Denial ain't just a river in Egypt" -– Mark Twain
Because I don't believe he could have actually said that.