Friday, September 22, 2006

Fun on the Run

Now here's something from one of my web surfing moments-of-delight:
"If you’re being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They’re trained for that."—Unknown source

The first thing I got reminded of was one of those life-skills/basic survival tactics that is passed on by word of mouth (sadly, I cannot recollect whose mouth it was, but I remember having heard it on several occasions)."If you’re being chased by a mad elephant, run in a zig-zag pattern."—Another unknown source

Loopy as it seems, the logic here (apparently) is very sound. An elephant, in spite of its magnitude can run you out of town, especially if it's mad...or motivated...or both, sometimes at a speed of 50mph! The only thing that can slow it down considerably, is it's own inertia. Also beneficial is the fact that elephants, who have an incredible memory, are usually not too hot with strategic games like chess...or Scotland Yard for that matter. So, you could run endlessly in the most predictable zig-zag formation and it will NOT intercept you through the shortest route. It will follow the exact path you take and attempt to turn the very same corners you do, even in an open field.

So the next time you are faced with such a crisis:
*Don't panic for too long and freeze in horror (That's the end my friend)
*Don't freak out, scream your head off and run straight (unless you can beat the speed of 50mph)
*Be calm and collected, and run in a zig-zag pattern.
*Occasionally, wave into camera.

Disclaimer: Don't try this at home and then blame me for it. I'm just giving you a head's up and i cannot possibly vouch for all the elephants in the world.


Anonymous Veer said...

   I get to
(waves to camera)
I will
     try and
(pants and waves to camera)
                       in zigs
                 and zags
         if I ever
 a mad
            that I
                 want to
                       stay away
(I could use a lot of these tips, so do keep them comiiiiiiiiiiiiiii -- last wave to camera)

6:41 am  
Blogger Mandakini said...

If elephants are so wildly talented and intelligent and have such an envious memory....then why do people make so many jokes about them?? Elephant jokes have become an independent joke genre...if ever there was such a thing!

Q : why dont elephants ride bicycles?

A : Because they dont have a thumb to ring the bell.


1:00 am  

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